Sunday, May 21, 2006

The Power of Chocolate

Please indulge me for a second because in order for this to make sense you must understand from the beginning that I have a few health problems which is what makes all this soooooo stupid on my part. I am a now diet controlled diabetic and have been soooooo good for 3 years and have not needed medication. My goal is to never be back on it again (despite a strong family history). I have a history of, and presently scheduled for a stone crushing session, kidney stones. Chocolate and tea very, very bad for both of these conditions. To top it off, I had a gastric by pass a few years ago, lost about 125 lbs, been good.......but a healthy diet is very, very important for me. Chocolate, milk products etc can and usually do cause me problems. I KNOW all this. And what's more, I have never really been a "sweets" person. People can eat all that junk in front of me and never phase me. HONEST. So now someone explain to me what happened last night???????? For my daughters birthday, I promised to bake (I love to bake and cook) her a from scratch cake and she wanted chocolate. So I made her one of those old fashioned layered cakes, the kind that you put the frosting on while it hot so the cake just soaks it up. I don't get a lot of opportunity to cook and had not made one of those in a while and felt I did not do a good job so I went to the store and bought another one, chocolate on chocolate........beautiful cake. Sooooooooo here sits two cakes. Turns out my cake turned out good after all. So last night for someeeeeeeeeeeeeee reason, those cakes began beckoning me. I had been walking past them for two days without so much as one ounce of temptation and yet, last night, suddenly they took on the appearance of heaven.........delight........pleasure........ohhhhhhhh myyyyyyy goodnesssssssss look how yummy. Chocolate......thick, rich, delicious. I thought, ignore it. That didn't help, have you ever TRIED to ignore something........all you do is think about it more. So I begin the reasoning stage. Hey, I haven't had chocolate in what.......3 years? How do I know it will make me sick? I've been so good, I deserve a treat. You know, all that stuff. Here I go, oh my goodness, look at that, delicious fudgey frosting with moist cake........mmmmmmm. Each bite soooooooo good. I have to say, I enjoyed that piece of cake like there was no tomorrow. Too bad there was because within one hour I was begging to die. Sick as a dog. The whole time berating myself for my stupidity. Took hours to overcome the damage of what......maybe 5 minutes of pleasure? What is it about chocolate? How can something that looks and tastes and appears sooooo good be so bad? How could I be so stupid and fall prey to it's lure? Once again, lack of common sense. I know this may not seem to have anything to do with the subject but for some reason something my Daddy told me when I was very young popped in my head. "People get fooled by the ole devil a lot because they think the devil is some ugly looking thing when in fact, in appearance he is very beautiful, at one time the most beautiful angel in Heaven. It's not the outside of the devil that is ugly, it's what is inside of him. And he uses his alluring appearance and abilities to lie and fool to snare us. That is what makes him so dangerous." If you asked me right now, I could honestly say that there is NO way chocolate will lure me again........NO WAY!!! Why? Because the memory is still very clear in my mind, my stomach is still not completely settled BUT what happens when the memory fades again? I'm on guard now but what happens in time when I let my guard down because I become confident in my own ability to restrain myself?

2 Comments:

Blogger Wadical said...

I totally don't understand it...the phantasmal draw of food that you know will make you sick. I hate okra. I hate eggplant. I hate liver. I hate horseradish. I never have to remind myself why I hate them.

Maybe it's because they taste like poopy. :)

I've never really been a chocolate person. I don't crave it. I don't need it. But there is one exception...my Grandmother's 6 layer yellow cake with hardened chocolate fudge icing. There is no better. It's not just because it's MY Grandmother's cake. I've eaten enough cake to be objective about it. Man I could eat it until I get sick...throw it up and then eat some more. Don't know if that bears any semblance to what you're talking about.

7:48 PM  
Blogger Auntie D said...

Oh honey, you have it, I just replaced the yellow cake with chocolate cake because my daughter wanted it all chocolate. Nowwwwwwwww you see what I mean??????? LOL

2:21 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home